Dating Games Men Play: The New Ager

I’m so excited that the paperback of Love in 90 Days is out! And the best news for all you readers is a whole chapter on Dating Games Men Play. By the time you finish it I hope you have many ‘Aha experiences in understanding and being clear about these patterns.  Armed with this knowledge you can quickly get away from guys who are DUDs (Definitely Unworkable Dudes) or relationships that are truly dead-end or even destructive.  You can see clearly when it is time to stay and work on the relationship or when it’s time to cut your losses and go. You can be freer to choose the ones you want, the ones who give you love that is just right for you.          

In order to do that, I will arm you with the information you need about the 16 most common dating games based on personality types. Some of them are much more ingrained and difficult for the guy to overcome than others.    I rate the degree of difficulty of each pattern, based on my clinical experience, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most challenging.   I have also divided the dating games into three groups: easier to overcome; moderately difficult; and most challenging (those I advise you to stay away from!)  So pick up the book and get ready to become an expert on the minds of men.    

The New Ager is one of 16 Guys’ Dead-End Dating Patterns from the new chapter, Dating Games Men Play, in the paperback version of Love in 90 Days!

You meet him at yoga, at a retreat or through your spiritually-minded friends.  Sweet and sensitive—he is a dream-come-true: he looks deeply into your soul, giving you the best eye contact you’ve ever had.  He gets five stars for being cute, in great shape, listening, being very spiritual and possibly on your very own path.  Maybe he even teaches at the yoga studio you go to frequently.

Yes, he is soft, sensitive, conscious and gentle….too gentle.  Try as you might, there is never that masculine spark, that sexy-aggressive come-on, that cocky walk and talk that gets your pulse racing.  You have a serious crush and wait and wait in vain for it to happen.  But it never does.  Bottom line: this guy is more into his spiritual path than into dating.  And, while he is seductive and asks you to meet him for the latest in carrot juice drinks,  is studying that advanced meditation technique you love, and willing to give you the best Shiatsu massage you ever ever had, he is definitely not into you.

A variation of this theme which is very confusing is the guy who uses his spiritual platform to sleep around with as many women as possible. Usually he convinces you that he is not really interested in sex, but only what it can do for the two of you spiritually.  This type of New-Ager is actually a closet Player!

Jorga was a spiritual raw foodist who experienced a round of “dating” with a New Ager:

Ray-El was giving a lecture on green living at the local health food store. I couldn’t take my eyes off him—his face was so healthy and radiant!  There was this cleanness, this innocence about him that I fell in love with immediately.  I signed up for a lecture series he was giving and hung around with him after every meeting.  When he asked me to teach him how to go raw, I was thrilled—after all, my last boyfriend had broken up with me over the whole raw food thing!  Ray-El came over to my apartment. I made him my best feast, from uncooked soup to dessert nuts.  He told me he was studying tantric yoga—and I was a goner.  He was the gentlest lover ever and I was in heaven.  That is until I found out this was Ray-El’s standard M.O. with every woman under the age of 30 in our whole green community.

New Ager Warning Sign:  He is very spiritual and there is either no chemistry whatsoever or he’s in a hurry to explore Tantra and other sexual practices.

Degree of Difficulty: 7 (out of 10!) Ladies stop wasting your time unless he becomes “enlightened’ and decides to make room for a relationship!  Although he is super seductive and a real hottie, you are wasting your valuable time. 

And before you go, don’t forget to take advantage of my free ongoing support. Plus, you can learn the latest on EXACTLY how to flirt, Find,  Attract and Date terrific guys and create Lasting Love by subscribing to my Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter, absolutely FREE!

Wishing you the greatest love,

Dr. Diana

Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show & best-selling author of “Love in 90 Days” (dating advice book)” out now in paperback (at Amazon) with a new chapter on “Dating Games Men Play.” Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her FREE relationship & dating advice newsletter.

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