So this is a great time to look for love, to truly make this the summer of love for yourself. Give yourself and your wardrobe a summer makeover. Shed a few pounds, get your Diamond Self glow going and meet as many people as possible: use the Summer dating advantage!

Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show & best-selling author of “Love in 90 Days” (dating advice book)” out now in paperback (at Amazon) with a new chapter on “Dating Games Men Play.” Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her FREE relationship & dating advice newsletter.

You can learn EXACTLY how to Find,  Attract and Date terrific guys and create Lasting Love that is just right for you by subscribing in the BOX BELOW to my Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter, absolutely FREE!

Wishing you a summer of love!  Dr. Diana

Amelia with her date, Stuart

Mike, Amelia & I after our Fox Morning Show Finale

Hi!
Here is a link to the 90 Day Challenge Finale on Fox’s Morning Show with Mike & Juliet–you can watch a whole recap of how Amelia, my love mentee, used my book, Love in 90 Days to go from being dateless in NYC to having lots of great guys to choose from!!
http://www.mandjshow.com/videos/the-ninety-day-love-challenge-finale/

And if you are in NYC here are April/May events:

Workshop & Book Signing
The Single Most Important Thing You Can Do To Find Love!
In this workshop, I will share one of the most powerful techniques I have used with Amelia and thousands of women break deadly dating habits, meet and attract terrific men, and discover the joys of a solid, loving relationship.
When: Wed. April 29th @ 6:30-8 PM
Where: East West Books (upstairs in caf?)
78 5th Ave # 2 New York, NY
FREE

Plus, finally, the Weekend Intensive you have been asking for! Here is a blurb on it:

The Love in 90 Days Weekend Intensive
In this dynamic, experiential workshop you meet with me and I personally take you through the full 90 day dating program! You will learn: the single most important thing you can do to find love, how to break Deadly Dating Patterns that ruin any chance of lasting love, how to empower yourself through the Dating Program of Three, the ‘Diamond Self’ exercise that overcomes shyness and how to create irresistible online dating photos and profiles and much more!

When: Sat. May 16th 1-6 PM & Sun. May 17th 10-4 PM (with lunch break)
Where: Nola Rehearsal Studio
244 W. 54th St. 11th Floor (Studio C)
(between Broadway & 8th Ave) New York, NY
Introductory Fee: $199
Early bird discount if you register by April 20: $175

Registration is limited. For info email heatherlaine@lovein90days.com
www.lovein90days.com

Wishing you love,
Diana

Sign Up for my Dating e-Tips:

Come join me on: Twitter @drdiana

Wanted to alert you that my PBS Pledge Special will start airing again in June! Watch for it and be my guest in a front-row seat at a dynamic, practical and inspirational talk, given for the first time on television, the Finding Your Own True Love Program.

Learn about the single most important thing you can do to create more love in your life; how single women of any age can find and date fulfilling partners and create great relationships; plus simple steps couples can use to deepen intimacy and create more passion. Based on material from my bestselling book, Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love, this unique show provides four easy-to-apply steps that can transform your life.

In this show learn you can learn how to:

• Break Deadly Dating Patterns that ruin any chance of lasting love
• Create a powerful Love Intention that helps you find love that is just right for you
• Use the Diamond Self exercise that overcomes shyness and enhances self-esteem and charisma
• Empower yourself through the Dating Program of Three
• Find, attract and date terrific men

You won’t want to miss it!
Wishing you love,
Dr. Diana

www.lovein90days.com

Finding Your Own True Love PBS Special

      So go on, make the affirmation.  Something like, I create a new love that is just right for me.  Here is an eight-step love advice action plan based on my new book, Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love.  This simple plan can make your love affirmation a reality in 2009:

1. Prioritize Finding Love

      Imagine if you didn’t have a job and needed money—looking for one would be your absolute top priority.   You would spend hours posting and searching sites like monster.com; scanning the want ads; calling recruiters; asking your friends; and jumping on any leads. 

     In contrast, despite being alone, finding love ranks pretty low on your to do list.  You come home from work, run errands, answer some emails, call your friends, play with the dog, watch your favorite show, and maybe spend 15 minutes browsing your online dating site.  Most of you are better at planning your weekend or vacation than planning your dating life.  If you are truthful with yourself, the activities associated with creating a relationship are nowhere near the top of your priority list.

      Yet study after study has shown that relationships are treasured above all else when we reflect on what has meant the most in our lives.  So make finding love a top priority.

2. Have A ‘New You’ Party 

      Order a bunch of pizzas or something simple like Chinese food.  Invite all your friends to come over for a ‘New You’ party where they give you a ‘makeover.’  Have them go through your clothes and accessories, getting rid of unflattering stuff and putting together some hot new looks for you.  Ask them for referrals to great hair salons or clothing shops. Find a look that makes you feel great. 

      Don’t feel like you are imposing—there is usually nothing that your friends like more than giving you advice!  Of course, tell them you are looking to meet someone special and to keep you in mind.  Email the same message to any other buddies who did not make the party.

3.  Work Your Online Dating Program

      Throw out your old photo and profile.  Have a friend who is a good photographer, make that a great photographer, take 100 headshots of you in order to get one that looks especially warm, attractive and inviting.  Get some opposite-sex friends to help you pick out the best photo and work on your profile.  After you post them spend at least three hours a week looking around the site, sending and responding to messages and connecting by phone and in person with people.  Block out time in your daily calendar to work the program.

4. Go Where the Odds are Better

      Sign up for two on-going classes/activities that interest you that have lots of potential partners in them—for example: finance, investing and leadership at your local college’s School of Continuing and Professional Studies; rock-climbing and golfing; snowboarding/skiing; hiking; and wine tasting are great for meeting men. Women are plentiful at cooking, growth, spirituality or yoga courses.  Coed city sports teams are great and usually have an even mix of genders.  There are many other activities, classes and clubs to consider so search online on any topic plus the name of a major city near you.  Or go to www.meetup.com and peruse their groups.   Also, if you’re so inclined, look into volunteering for a local or national political group.

5.  Meet New People

      Find and say hello to three new men or women every day.  Assuming you are in a safe or public place, make eye contact, smile, say ‘Hi,’ or ask for some help.  This is what I call the Marcia Cross Technique.  Actress Marcia Cross was in her forties when she met her husband by chatting with him in a flower shop. She now is the ecstatic mother of twin baby girls. 

     If you don’t encounter a lot of men or women in your daily routine, make sure to try a new grocery store, dry cleaners, pharmacy or coffee/sandwich shop at lunch.  You can start with saying hello to the less threatening types and work your way up to the ones who are “out of your league.” You will be surprised how receptive the hotties can be!

6. Date Against Type 

      Most people do not find love with the type of person they imagine for themselves.  The guy who only wants a petite blonde winds up with a brainy brunette.  The woman who dates starving artists marries a rich, balding lawyer.  Look at photos and profiles that you would ordinarily take a quick pass on.  If you always go for the sleek metrosexual, give the Midwesterner who just moved to your town a try.  If you go for the hotties, try someone who is has a heart of gold and maybe only a B+ on looks.  Try and experiment.  You may be very happily surprised! 

7.  Go For A Second Date

       Even if you are not exactly blown away by a person at the first date, remember to stay open.  You cannot know what secret goodies are hidden in someone just by meeting them once.  You have to let a potential partner unfold and show you his/her different sides.  If there is any connection with this person at all, give it another chance. Love almost always comes in a surprise package.

8. Open The Door

      If you do meet someone and have a really good time, send a quick text or email the next morning to let the person know that the door is open to getting together again.  This is especially important for women to do.  Write something specific about the date that points to the connection between the two of you or refers to something you both loved.  For example, if you went to a comedy show, write a message that refers to a particular joke you both enjoyed and add, “Let’s do it again sometime.”

     Now you have your love resolution and plan.  Most importantly commit to the first step and make this work Priority One in your life.  Then follow the recommended program to create the love you want in the coming year.  And if you really want to turbo-charge your love life (Warning: shameless self-promotion ahead) get a copy right now of my newly released book, Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love.  It’s available online and at your favorite bookstore.  Chances are, by next New Year’s Eve you’ll be kissing the one you want.

Wishing you great love in 2009,

Dr. Diana

www.lovein90days.com

Follow me on Twitter @drdiana

1. Does the program of three mean what I think it does?

Yes, it does.  Date three people at the same time. And be upfront in telling them you’re doing this. And, most importantly, DO NOT have sex with any of them.

2.  How can this work for me?   I can’t even find one good person to date! 

That’s the point–having to find three eligible people means you have to break through your patterns of being too picky or too unavailable. You have to give a chance to the nerdy ones or the

ones who ‘aren’t good enough.’  And you have to screw up your courage, smile, make eye contact and open your mouth to give yourself a chance with the ones who are ‘out of your league.”

3. What about instantaneous chemistry that can be so yummy?

That yummy chemistry often backfires when you are looking for lasting true love—the relationship that starts out red-hot can quickly go stone-cold. When you date three people, you are protected from this rapid moth-to-a-flame over-involvement that is the biggest mistake singles make in love relationships.  Having sex with someone releases oxytocin, the bonding hormone. If great chemistry leads to having sex too soon, this can backfire because you don’t really know each other. On the Program you won’t have that problem because you are not having sex with these people.

If you are truly on the Program of Three you can’t spend all that much time with one person. You can enter relationships in a mature and measured way to avoid premature infatuation, dependency, or pseudo-intimacy. On the Program of Three, if one doesn’t call you, another one will. And you can come from abundance with three possibilities rather than scarcity with just one.

4. What types of men should I be looking for?

You want to enter the world of romance with the attitude of an anthropologist.  Ask yourself: What are the personalities of these natives about? What are they really into? Who fits with you? Who can give you the kind of companionship, nurturance or the belief in you and your dreams that you need to be your best self?

On the Program, you rank order your partners in terms of least to most fulfilling. Less stimulating or enjoyable partners are left behind as they are replaced with higher level ones.

5. Where do I meet these plentiful guys?

You can use two different online dating services, join professional organizations, associations devoted to the arts or political activities, and/or attend interesting educational courses. Advanced courses are best since they attract more men. Get out there. Expand your interests. Break out of your old habit patterns. Try golfing, bowling, or join a business group. Participate in an activity that’s out of the norm for you. Make eye contact and say hello to everyone you meet. Each person has a social network of at least 200 other people who they could potentially introduce you to!

Empower yourself and try the dating program of three.  It can help you find an amazing true love relationship!  To learn more about the Program and the latest research on creating true love that is just right for you read my new book,   Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love

And please make sure that you subscribe to my etips which are a mini-course on finding true love that you can start today.

Here’s to more love!

Dr. Diana