What is the enduring fascination women have with the Sex and the City characters? The great promo shots of our gals in the desert for Sex and the City 2 gives us clues about why these four characters are so beloved.  Each one is so different–courageous, unique and self-expressed, from fashion to personality to choices in love.  Each character goes all out for whatever is calling her.  Carrie gets her elusive Mr. Big (although there will be troubles abrewing in the new movie on this front).  Charlotte becomes a practicing Jew.  Samantha triumphs over cancer and is still on her cougar prowl.  Miranda is handling the challenges of balancing work and family life.  In the new film the beloved characters will be having new desert adventures together.  The foursome are living out loud, as usual, with their own natural charisma and personal style. Each is moving forward in her life, doing freely what many women dream of.        

      But more importantly these four represent an ideal that most women strive for, an ideal that is just about as important as grand romantic love.  What is that?   A lasting, supportive, healing, uplifting and validating love relationship between women.  Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte are the ultimate BFFs.  Their relationship is the solid platform from which they dive into handling troubles with men, kids, cancer and more.  Their deep bond with each other is a super buffer to all the slings and arrows of misfortune that life throws their way.  As Samantha says to her compatriots: “We made a deal ages ago. Man, babies, doesn’t matter. We’re soul mates.”   This is the ideal friendship women love to see and what they strive to create with their own girlfriends.

      In my dating advice book, Love in 90 Days I describe how to set up this kind of extraordinary friendship group for single women—I call it a Team Love.  You can come to your Team Love group for solace when you are hurt, be inspired by others’ wins and have a whole posse of women who encourage and cheer you on.  The team can be a tremendous resource for you to learn about hot shopping, fashion, hairstylists, exercise classes, night spots and activities and more in your local area.

      The best news is, if you live in the Manhattan area you will find ample opportunity to live the Sex & the City girlfriend experience! There are two Meet-up Team Love groups you can join for free.  Join both at Love in 90 Days – Dating Secrets for Single Women and Love in 90 Days: The Queens Group   They have many awesome singles activities.  In these groups I have been completely blown away with how generous, caring and empowering the women have been toward each other.  They develop a real life Carrie-Samantha-Miranda-Charlotte type of friendship.  Here is a series of supportive, educational and inspirational emails going out to a Team Love Group:

      Roz hits a down cycle as she starts to date and writes:

I am a dead mouse.  I have had NO SECOND DATES at all.  All my first dates seemed fun and enjoyable and I found things in common with each person. I must appear to have two heads instead of one or something like that.

      Several supportive messages come back to her, including this one from Dyanne:

You’re NOT a dead mouse!!!! You’ve got to BELIEVE in yourself–So, you didn’t get a second date, no big deal because there will be more! You’ve got to look on the positive side of things, you had first dates. You are moving! And I haven’t even been meeting men.

      Dyanne writes two weeks later:

Hello Team Love, Just wanted you to know that I am meeting men!!! I had a chance meeting with an amazing trader earlier this week and he called me today to make sure I was coming to his meeting Friday.  And I met another walking down 46th St. at Madison Ave. We chatted for a few blocks and had a drink at O’Rourke’s. He is a lawyer from Memphis and asked if he could take me to the Opera when he comes back in a few months. The vibe is on.

      Drew responds:

Your beauty is irresistible!

I experienced some serendipity on Friday night that inspired me. I went to a talk on spiritual partnerships at the Lotus Buddhist Center. During the break I noticed Tommy, a surf instructor who I met last June at a surf-yoga retreat. We’re going out.  It’s a sign that I’m attracting men who are in alignment with me on a number of levels…spiritually, intellectually, artistically, physically, etc. 

Let’s keep it going, Team Love

Sending love to all of you!!!

Drew

     You can read much more about how to create a Sex and the City type of friendship group or Team Love for yourself in Love in 90 Days

   Also, you can take a free special quiz and find out which Sex & the City Girl you are most like at www.MyDatingPatterns.com.  The quiz will tell you which Deadly Dating Pattern you are playing out (whether you are more like Carrie, Samantha, Miranda or Charlotte!), that is, which type of dating and relationship behavior tends to sabotage your chances of lasting love.  Even better, the free quiz also comes with a free customized bonus Report & Fix-It Kit for your Dating Type. So whether you see the movie now or later, make sure to learn your dating type and how to overcome any obstacles you might be facing on your road to love.

Wishing you love,

Dr. Diana

Diana Kirschner, Ph.D.

♥ Relationship advice from my heart to yours ♥

www.lovein90days.com

     Sex and the City 2 is just about to explode in the collective psyche of women everywhere.  Tickets are already going like hotcakes.  Why?  .  TCarrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda are character types many women can totally relate to.  Their friendship is a soul mate bond, steadying each one, as they weave in and out of difficulties with men.  Sex and the City 2 will reveal more of their adventures and misadventures together in the world of love. 

       The Sex & the City foursome are good examples of women who deal with four common self-sabotaging patterns that many real women struggle withhe four Deadly Dating patterns are Crumbs, Chase Me, Not Perfect-I’ll Pass and Safety Net.   Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda transformed their patterns in order to develop or maintain love relationships. Their stories reflect the challenges and triumphs of real women as they navigate the rocky journey to lasting love.

      Here are the four Deadly Dating Patterns from my book, Love in 90 Days and their  all-important dynamics:

The Crumbs Deadly Dating Pattern (like Carrie)

• Accepting seductive & wonderful treatment from a guy who is ultimately out of reach & afraid of commitment. (Mr. Big) Carrie triumphs on this one!
• Fantasizing about & falling for men who put her second, behind work or other women  (the Russian)
• Cheating on a man who really loved her (Aidan), pushing him away.  (It looks like Aidan will be back in Sex & the City 2!!!)

 Deeper Dynamic: Believing that you don’t deserve a relationship in which you come first.

 The Chase Me Deadly Dating Pattern (like Samantha)

• Endlessly claiming she did not really want to have a relationship
• Leaving lovers & moving on for no apparent reason
• Fearing intimacy (Smith holding her hand in public!) and commitment

 Deeper Dynamic: A desperate need to be claimed, almost against your will, (As Smith successfully did for a while with Samantha.)

The Not Perfect—I’ll Pass Deadly Dating Pattern (like Charlotte)

• Fussy and a perfectionist
• Almost passed on Harry Goldenblatt, a man who was good husband material but balding & unpolished. (refused to go to beach party with him unless he had his back waxed)
• Judgmental and constricted about sexuality

Deeper Dynamic: A self-critical nature where you judge anyone who would want you as “not good enough.”

The Safety Net Deadly Dating Pattern (like Miranda) 

• Afraid of being alone & pessimistic about her odds of meeting a great guy
• Dating guys she feels are beneath her
• Attracted to a man only if other women are interested in him or he’s left her (Steve)

 Deeper Dynamic: Low self esteem & a sense that you can’t compete with other women for a really great successful guy.

     In the bestselling dating advice book, Love in 90 Days, you can read much more about each of these Deadly Dating Patterns and nine others that can seriously sabotage your love life.  And, most importantly, how to escape from each one of them to create the love relationship you really want!  

      Wondering which type you are?  You can take a special quiz and find out which Sex & the City Girl you are most like at http://www.MyDatingPatterns.com.  It comes with a free customized bonus Report & Fix-It Kit for your Dating Type.

Wishing you love,

Dr. D

Dr. Diana Kirschner

♥ Relationship advice from my heart to yours ♥

www.lovein90days.com

By the way, this video has over 250,000 views and is one of the most popular ones that I have posted on my youtube channel.  Check it out at www.youtube.com/lovein90days.  I have lots of videos dealing with all kinds of dating tips and advice.  Madison is a hoot as she helps me along!

And don’t forget: You can learn EXACTLY how to Find,  Attract and Date terrific guys and create Lasting Love that is just right for you by subscribing to my Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter, absolutely FREE!  Just Click Here!

Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show & best-selling author of “Love in 90 Days” (dating advice book)” out now in paperback (at Amazon) with a new chapter on “Dating Games Men Play.” Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her FREE relationship & dating advice newsletter.

Tens of thousands of people have married someone they met online. Another Harris study showed that on average 236 couples marry each and every day who met on eharmony. Technology is opening the floodgates of new love for singles. My suggestion: use it to maximum effectiveness by working two different sites–a larger well-established one like eharmony.com or Yahoo! Personals and a small niche one, like Jdate.com or greensingles.com.

Here’s to more love!
Dr. Diana