Recently a research study on newly married couples done by the University of Iowa showed that providing too much support in the form of advice, emotional comfort, confidence-boosting and financial/material help is associated with less marital satisfaction. 

Of course, as we would expect, too little support was also associated with marital unhappiness.  

The bottom line for marital harmony is this: the giving of support has to be in line with what your partner actually wants and asks for!  Too much advice and too little building up of self esteem were the most problematic for men.  Too much advice, too much emotional support or the other extreme–too little advice–were most difficult for women.

So to create a great love relationship, think it through, speak your truth and ask for exactly the support you need from your partner.  And only that amount of support.

And read your partner’s signals.  Don’t just ignore him/her or simply keep overgiving.  Pay attention. Ask your Beloved to be clear about exactly the quantity and quality of support and encouragement they really need.