Relationship & Dating Advice for Women Blog Series

This relationship advice blog is an interview with one of our awesome professional Love Mentors® Lindsey Halpern-Givens. Lindsey is  a Board Certified Chaplain with the Association of Professional Chaplains and a member of the American Counseling Association, as well as being a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in the State of Illinois.  She is  also in a long term happy marriage!

1. What is the single most important thing you personally do to be happy?
I work on remembering that I’m writing the story of my life. I am the author and get to give voice and action to my story. It’s sort of like the screenwriter who writes a movie. I might not like the way the story is going but  can see where I’ve made choices that are not always the best, choices that have not  helped me to be in a good  relationship. In that case I can do a ‘rewrite.’ I am responsible for my actions. I can choose!

2. What is a simple step our readers can take to create change in their lives?

Start small. When you try to go on a diet you can’t lose 50 pounds overnight! Choose to make one small change and then stick with it. Think about it before you begin. For example- if you want to give up cookies, you’d clear them out of your house before you began to make that change.  Then you can feel that first victory.  Starting small and finding success is a great way to build confidence and make more and bigger changes.

3. Can anyone really be happy?

I think happiness is fleeting, but a sense of joy that lives within us — I believe that is lasting! It comes when we meet challenges, when we work with others to create something larger than what we could do on our own. When we pet an animal or spend time with a friend.  When we get or give help for something.  When we find our soul mate there is a sense that we are connected to something larger than ourselves.  Which brings happiness and lasting joy.

4. Does love really make us happy?

Love creates a sense of being joyfully connected to that spark of the divine in us. When we make such a strong connection to another person we see that divine spark in our partner too. It helps us  feel fully alive.

5. What is it about mentoring® that helps a woman?

Knowing that she doesn’t have to be alone in navigating the dating world and that she has help in figuring out how to communicate with a man is very empowering. A Love Mentor is different than a friend. A Mentor has training and holds you accountable in a way that friends and family do not.   It’s  a different kind of support. We all need our friends and family, but would you call a friend who knows nothing about roofing to fix your leaky roof? Love Mentors™ are trained to assist and support women (and men) who just need a bit of encouragement and help to find their partner. My clients tell me that working with me is an great investment they make in themselves and their future.  It makes me so joyful when they find the dating and relationship success they long for!

6. What’s one mistake that you wish women wouldn’t make?

Many of my clients have the mistaken belief that they must control their partner or date  so that he is the way THEY think he should be. This keeps them from knowing who he is and appreciating the relationship. It also keeps women from living a real life and instead stuck in a fantasy that creates drama and conflict. I think women do this because they think that controlling or guiding a relationship will avoid conflict. It actually does the opposite. Solving problems brings love partners closer together. It moves their relationship forward and allows for deeper communication!

7. How do you help women get out of bad relationships?

Ending a relationship is difficult for women in particular. We tend to be ‘nice’ and we don’t like hurting anyone’s feelings. So we are often unprepared for the variety of feelings we experience in the process. It is OK to give yourself permission to feel the sadness, anger, fear, and pain associated with an ending. Denying those feelings or keeping them inside will only prolong them. Recognize that guilt, self-blame, and bargaining are defenses we use against feeling out of control. But there are some endings we can’t control because we can’t control another person’s behavior or their feelings. All we can do is be responsible for our own.

♥News Flash!  Join us live for a Free Love Mentoring® Seminar on  “How To Be Happy for No Reason – (and Get The Love You Want!)”  With Love Mentor® Lindsey Halpern Givens

DATE: Tuesday, October 18^th, 2011
TIME: 5:00pm pacific/8:00pm eastern for one hour
COST: No charge
JOIN US LIVE BY: Telephone, Skype, and Replay Access-

Click Here For Details – http://tobtr.com/s/2400165

Thank you, Lindsey for your wise words and great relationship advice. If you would like a free 40-minute love mentoring session with Lindsey, click here or go to www.lovein90days.com/coaching.

Wishing you love,

Dr. Diana

♥Dating Tips & Relationship Advice from My Heart to Yours♥

Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show & author of the highly acclaimed new relationship advice book, “Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love” as well as the best-selling dating advice book, “Love in 90 Days.” Dr. Diana’s revolutionary work is the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her FREE Relationship Tips and Dating Advice Newsletter.

I think texting rocks!  It means that no matter what you are doing you can be in touch with and connected to your loved ones.  Texting has absolutely deepened our love relationships.  Now your “A” level friends, family and lovers can be in a constant secret dialogue with you, even while you are with other people.  

Now some love advice and etiquette:

~Little steamy or romantic texts can go a long way—less is more because you can pick up where the message ends and begin fantasizing about the other person!

~Breaking up with someone by text is a definite no-no—it is treating the person with a lot of disrespect and usually done out of cowardice and being afraid to come face to face to deliver the heartbreak.

~Revealing something embarrassing in writing is never a good idea—it can be shown to others. 

~Using text to avoid speaking on the phone is sometimes the shy way out—doing so will never get you over your fears.  You have to come face-to-face and have straight truthful talk in order to have a whole relationship with a person.

~Texting during a date is simply bad manners and rude. 

~Mass texting to ask people out on a date is a desperate act and will backfire on you later if people compare notes. 

~In the beginning phase of dating you are testing the waters and you don’t want to overdo it.  When the relationship becomes more serious, you tend to text a lot to send love messages, plan things together and get emotional support or advice.

          Texting messages are the new love notes!  And the new means of emotional connection, support, teaming and planning activities together. It’s high tech–high touch time!

Here’s to more LOVE!

Dr. D.

Click here to Buy the Love in 90 Days Book