When it comes to dating and love relationships there are certain “love facts” that most everyone believes.  But, surprisingly, if we look at the actual research about these “love facts” we may find that they are not facts at all.  They are fictions, myths.  So separating love fiction from love fact makes you an informed “consumer” when it comes to your dating and love life.

Here are seven of these top urban love legends and what the research actually shows us to be true about them. This is the kind of fresh information you’ll get by subscribing to my FREE weekly Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter. Click Here.

Myth
1.  The divorce rate in the country is 50%

Fact: It’s never been 50%.  It’s actually 41%.  The odds are better than you think.  And a college education decreases the likelihood of divorce.  This is shown by more sophisticated research.
Myth
2.  You have one soul mate and meeting that “One” is the key to finding love.

Fact: Research shows that love and marriage take hard work, including commitment, positive communication, and the ability to resolve fights.  The best relationship advice I can give you is that you need to work on yourself and choose someone, a good friend with chemistry, who’s willing to grow with you. These are the keys to a happy marriage. Sorry, no fairy tale.

Myth
3.  When you are married fighting is an unhealthy thing.
Fact:  Couples who suppress their anger have a mortality rate that is twice as high as those in which one partner stands up for him/herself.  Fighting with your spouse and then resolving differences is a healthy thing.

Myth
4.  Living with a boyfriend/girlfriend gives you a better sense of who your partner is and will make for a stronger marriage down the road.

Fact: In general, couples who have not lived together before marriage have healthier and more successful marriages.  They also have less conflict, less abuse and are less likely to get divorced than couples who live together before marriage. However, a more recent study shows that couples who have committed to be married and live together do have a 28% decreased risk of getting divorced. Also, after age 45 there seems to be no difference in happiness levels between those that are married vs. those that are living together.

Myth
5.  On the online dating websites the majority of men are lying about themselves.

Fact: Independent research shows that the number is only about 20%. Common lies concern income, profession, age, marital status and weight.

Myth
6.  It’s better to wait until you’re more mature and get married in your thirties rather than your twenties.

Fact: People who marry after their mid twenties just as likely to get divorced and surprisingly are much more likely to have a poor quality marriage than those who married earlier. Unless you get married in your early 30s because of educational reasons. Then your chances of a high quality relationship are just as good.

Myth
7. Choosing marriage means more stress and financial drain in your life.

Fact: Hundreds of studies conducted around the world show that happy couples are healthier than singles emotionally and physically and they have more wealth too. Except for the crying babies, diapers and the ongoing lack of sleeplessness that children can bring on :).

You can learn much more about urban legends and the latest research on relationships and dating in my new relationship advice book, Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love. Order it today and then pick up many wonderful bonus gifts including FREE E-Reports and MP3s.

Wishing you love

Dr. Diana

Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show & best-selling author of the highly acclaimed new relationship advice book “Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love” and Love in 90 Days.”  Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her FREE relationship & dating advice newsletter.

Go for the rose in 2010!

OK.  There are now according to the US Census Bureau at least 92 million single Americans.  That is a whole lotta potential partners!  High school and college alum groups and social networking sites like Facebook are bringing singles together online  right and left.  Online dating is booming–the Pew Internet & American Life Project’s online dating survey found that the majority of actively dating Americans have tried it.

Bottom line: your 2010 dating life could make a 180° turn—into being the best it has ever been!  Truly, the chances of meeting the love of your life are better than ever!  2010 could be the year that you are happily, wildly in love.

So go on, make the affirmation.  Something like, I create an exciting love relationship that is fulfilling in every way. Here is a three-step love advice action plan based on my bestselling dating advice book, Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love. These simple steps can make your love affirmation a reality in 2010:

1. Meet New People

Find and say hello to three new guys or women every day.  Assuming you are in a safe or public place, make eye contact, smile, say ‘Hi’.  Where you ask?   Sign up for on-going classes/activities that interest you that have lots of potential partners in them—for example: finance, investing and business at your local college’s School of Continuing and Professional Studies; rock-climbing and golfing; snowboarding/skiing; hiking; and cigar tasting are great for meeting men. Women are plentiful at cooking, growth, spirituality or yoga courses.  Coed city sports teams are great and usually have an even mix of genders.  There are many other activities, classes and clubs to consider so search online on any topic plus the name of your city or town.

2.  Work Your Online Dating Program

Throw out your old photo and profile.  Have a friend who is a good photographer, make that a great photographer, take 100 headshots of you in order to get one that looks especially warm, attractive and inviting.  Write up a fresh interesting profile with the help of any writer friends you have. After you post your new photo and profile, spend at least two-three hours a week looking around the site, sending and responding to messages and connecting by phone and in person with people.  Block out time in your calendar to work the program.

3. Use Social Networking

Sign up for Facebook or any other social network and start making friends.  If you are already on the sites, gather more friends.  Make sure you indicate your relationship status is single.  Chat folks up.  Find old connections from the past.  Look up lost loves and find out what they are up to.  Lots of people are finding true love on these kinds of sites.

If you take these three dating tips to heart, chances are, by next New Year’s Eve you’ll be kissing the one you want.

And to make sure you will be, sign up for FREE ongoing support: You can learn EXACTLY how to Find,  Attract and Date terrific guys and create Lasting Love that is just right for you by subscribing to my Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter, absolutely FREE! Just Click Here to get started now!

Wishing you great love in 2010!

xo

Dr. Diana

Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show & best-selling author of “Love in 90 Days” (dating advice book)” out now in paperback (at Amazon) with a new chapter on “Dating Games Men Play.” Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her FREE relationship & dating advice newsletter.