Love in 90 Days » true love

Ending the Loneliness of Doing It All By Yourself

Dr. Diana Kirschner — Tue, 04 May 2010 19:44:22 +0000

Have you ever dreamed of putting an end to the LONELINESS of doing it all by yourself? Of feeling secure and nourished by a real partner who Appreciates You for Who You Really Are?

What if I told you that in all walks of life those who have mentors inevitably do way better than those who don’t. Study after study has shown that adults who are mentored are more successful in their careers and in school. Women, in particular, have greatly benefited from mentoring with reports of greater self-esteem and a heightened ability to break through the “glass ceiling.”

And love is no different. Even Cinderella had her fairy godmother. We all remember the story:

Suddenly the fairy godmother appeared and waved her magic wand. In a flash, Cinderella appeared in a splendid dress, shining with youth and beauty. Her stepmother and stepsisters gaped at her in amazement, and the ministers said, “Come with us Cinderella! The Prince is waiting for you.” So Cinderella married the Prince and lived happily ever after.

The fairy godmother and her magical wand. Nothing like that really exists, right? Only in children’s books and movies that are designed for flights of fancy and moments of escape from the harsh day-to-day grind of relationship challenges and disappointments. Or do they occur in real life?

I never believed in fairy godmothers until something happened to me many years ago. But before I tell you the story, I want to reintroduce myself! I’m Dr. Diana Kirschner and you may have seen me on my PBS Special, Finding Your Own True Love, based on my bestselling book, Love in 90 Days, or running the 90 Day Love Challenge on the Fox Morning Show. I also ran a post-graduate and accredited training center in marriage and family therapy and have published three books and numerous papers in the field of psychotherapy. For over 25 years I have helped thousands of single women find love. And I would like to help you too. The first step in getting started is to get FREE ongoing support from me by Clicking Here to sign up for my free Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter. It shows you EXACTLY how to find and date terrific guys and how to create a lasting and great love relationship!

Now back to my story: What happened is that years ago my very own fairy godmother began to oversee and open up my dating and love life. Only it was in the form of a “he.” A fairy godfather who got me out of settling for crumbs, out of loneliness and into the ball–and deep into my forever love story with my amazing husband. (with many bumps, because it is a real life happily ever after!) My Love Mentor was Dr. Arthur Stein and he was the psychologist who originated many of the principles I have written about in my bestselling book, Love in 90 Days. He was the original Love Mentor who saw my Diamond Self, saw past my warts and pimples to the perfect soul in little old moi. (Your Diamond Self is your most lovable, empowered, best-self identity. And it is this identity that a great Love Mentor helps to bring out. And yes, you have a great Diamond Self!)

This is how I learned that the most important thing you can do to truly amp up your dating and love life was to get coaching from Love Mentors! These are people who are crazy about you, cheer you on, confront you as needed, boost your self esteem and assist you in becoming your most beautiful self. Love mentors to help you with your Inner Work, that is, in developing real self-love and positive self-talk, along with the Outer Work, helping you bust through shyness with the hotties so that you can find and date terrific partners. Lots of them! So ultimately you can form a lasting and great love relationship.

Tyra Banks did a little ‘experiment’ on her talk show which was a good illustration of the power of coaching when it comes to dating. She gave a few gorgeous girls, including herself, ‘makeunders’ while some plain ones were glammed up. Then they all went out in public. The former ‘plain girls’ stood up straighter and showed more confidence and charisma while the other girls did just the reverse. This was a good illustration of mentoring in action–going in both positive and negative directions

I got to thinking, why is there no Love mentor service for dating?

Well now there is!! I just started a highly personalized Love Mentor coaching service. Now you can have one-on-one coaching from a trained Love Mentor who has used Love in 90 Days principles to get happily married. Each one has a long background in transformational work and is closely supervised by me. Most importantly, each Mentor is gifted and can help you move forward to the love relationship you really want!

The best news is, right now, as we kick off the Love Mentor Coaching we can give you an introductory 40 minute one-on-one personalized session by phone or Skype for FREE. No strings attached. Just Click Here to contact me and get your own personal FREE session asap, because the time slots are filling up very fast.

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our heart and we are never, ever the same.” ~ Anon

.Are You:

tired of meeting people who are disappointing–not even in the ballpark?
uncertain about a relationship & wondering if you have a future together?
shy with the ones you really want?
feel stuck in a relationship that disappoints and hurts you?
attracted to the wrong type of people?
feeling devastated by a nasty break-up or divorce?
struggling to get to a COMMITMENT with your current partner?
unable to find the One?
meeting great people, only to see them fade away and DISAPPEAR?

The Love Mentoring program can help you do a 180 in your love life! It can help you go from wondering when or if you will ever meet Mr. or Ms. Right to the security of a fulfilling, lasting relationship.

Just Click Here to contact me and get your FREE personalized one-on-one session asap, because the time slots are filling up very fast.

Here are a few questions you could ask in your Love Mentoring session.

How to use a Love Intention to call in the One
How to quickly get out of heartbreak
How to build irresistible confidence & charisma
How to deepen your relationship
How to get great results from your online dating program
How to magnify your confidence on the way to the first meeting
How to determine if he or she is the One
What to do if you are feeling shy
How to become magnetically attractive to the ones you want
How to get the commitment you want

Besides being a love mentor to many women I’ve also played the role of business mentor to women in large companies here and in Europe. I can tell you that in my experience, having a Love Mentor leads to greater success with men in much the same way as having work mentors helps career advancement. Remember, Cinderella had her Fairy Godmother.

Many singles asked me to be their personal Love Mentor and I have simply not had the time to do it because of my writing and TV schedule. But now I have hand-selected women who are seasoned transformational coaches, who have successfully used my program to overcome their dead-end dating patterns and become happily married. And I am personally supervising them to give you highly specialized one-on-one dating coaching and love mentoring.

So now you can have your very own caring, devoted and knowledgeable Love Mentor who gives you love inspiration, support, plus the most powerful dating tips and relationship advice. To help you find the Love of your life and make your dreams come true. And the best news is, right now, as we kick off the Love Mentor Coaching we can give you an introductory 60 minute one-on-one personalized session for FREE. No strings attached.

Just Click Here to contact me asap and get your free 40 minute one-on-one personal love mentoring session by phone or Skype, because the time slots are filling up very fast.

Here’s a letter from Robin who used Love Mentoring to create the relationship she really wanted:

“Having a Love Mentor was what allowed me to get married. That guidance helped me get over my tendency to blame the other person and wanting to be right. Nurturing loving guidance combined with a firm hand in letting me know when I was being a spoiled brat allowed me to look at my own patterns from a neutral perspective. I learned that I deserve to be supported on all levels, including financially–that I could have a true reciprocal loving partnership. Our wedding was spectacular and I couldn’t be any happier!”

***If Robin can do it, so can you.

And also be sure to Click Here to sign up for my FREE Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter, which shows you EXACTLY how to find and date terrific guys and how to create a lasting and great love relationship! Absolutely FREE. We respect your email privacy.

Wishing you Love,

Dr. Diana

P. S. If you’d like to send me a question or ask about a problem you’re having that I can answer or better yet, share a Success Story! — please e-mail me at www.lovein90days.com/contact/

Though I may not be able to respond directly to every email, I WILL DO MY UTMOST TO PERSONALLY READ YOUR LETTER! It’s been my life’s work to help people especially in matters of the heart. If I use your letter I will absolutely change your name and location to protect your identity. If you don’t want me to use your email, please tell me. Please use the following simple format when you write to me:

1. One or two paragraphs at most

2. Get as specific as you can – the details help
me really get a feel for your unique situation.

If you haven’t already done so, please order my book Love in 90 Days in either kindle or paperback. It will change your love life. It’s on sale now.

Dr. Diana Kirschner

♥ Relationship advice from my heart to yours ♥

Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show & best-selling author of “Love in 90 Days” (dating advice book)” out now in paperback (at Amazon) with a new chapter on “Dating Games Men Play.” Love in 90 Days was the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her FREE relationship & dating advice newsletter.

Dating Advice and Secret Flirting Tips

Dr. Diana Kirschner — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 18:32:58 +0000

Flirting is an art unto itself. Sometimes the simplest acts communicate the most! Here is a video where my assistand video pup, Madison, helps me demonstrate secret flirting tips that can work well with the next hottie you encounter!

By the way, this video has over 250,000 views and is one of the most popular ones that I have posted on my youtube channel. Check it out at www.youtube.com/lovein90days. I have lots of videos dealing with all kinds of dating tips and advice. Madison is a hoot as she helps me along!

And don’t forget: You can learn EXACTLY how to Find, Attract and Date terrific guys and create Lasting Love that is just right for you by subscribing to my Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter, absolutely FREE! Just Click Here!

Dating Survey Reveals the New Cougars

Dr. Diana Kirschner — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 22:36:56 +0000

The census data tells us that only 1% of all marriages in 2008 were cougar marriages, that is, between a woman who was 10-14 years older than her husband—while only 2.6% of the brides were 6 to 9 years older. But even though these weddings are rare, the concept of the “the cougar,” an older woman who dates or marries a younger guy, is creating new possibilities in dating. In this Demi-Ashton era, many 40+ women have happily broadened their matches to include younger men.

But according to a recent survey of 100 self-proclaimed cougars the rules have changed. The old stereotype of the man-eater woman, a la Stifler’s mom from ‘American Pie,’ no longer applies. These days it is not about a sugar mama having a no-strings-attached fling. It’s about finding a new form of true love.

More than 90% of these modern cougars say they want a long-term relationship with a younger man. They expect the guy to pay his way—to cover dinner or split the check. These women want the full experience of dating someone who is romantic, chivalrous and, best of all, relatively free of the emotional baggage of past relationships. 52% of the cougars in the study were in their 40s and their ideal guy is aged 24-27. 45% were ‘lifestyle cougars’ who have dated more than five younger men.

Over-40 women don’t mind being called “cougars” but they are redefining the definition of cougar dating. They know what they want in relationships and are opening doors to new possibilities for themselves. For more on the cougar survey, go to http://www.cougared.com/report

Love in 90 Days Bootcamp

admin — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 21:26:19 +0000

“Love in 90 Days Bootcamp” Be sure to checkout this short film. Fun and insightful! It’s the first training week (7 webisodes) for a group of six single women who are learning how to find love in 90 days. Can it be done?

"Love in 90 Days Bootcamp" Be sure to checkout this short film. Fun and insightful! It’s the first training week (7 webisodes) for a group of six single women who are learning how to find love in 90 days. Can it be done?

He’s Just Not That Into You Quiz

admin — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 20:52:19 +0000

He’s Just Not That Into You

. . . or Is He? – 16 Key Questions to Ask

Psychologist Dr. Diana Kirschner Helps Single Women Discover the Truth

He’s Just Not That Into You, the bestseller-turned-movie starring Jennifer Aniston, debunks the obsessive thoughts single women have about hotties who sweep into and out of their lives. The authors go into excruciating detail about the excuses and stories we make up to justify our fantasies about unavailable men. We waste hours and hours thinking and dishing about how, “He’s on a deadline at work.” “He’s out of the country,” or, my personal favorite, “He’s really in the process of leaving his wife.” The authors point out that none of the stories are the reason he doesn’t call, text, or email. The real reason is: he’s just not that into you.

The point is that a whole lot of time is spent on defensiveness, self-protection and daydreaming. And then, after all that wasted time fantasizing and making excuses, surprise, surprise–the dude finally manages to wriggle free and disappear from our lives. Only then does the truth hit us, and often with a wave of heartbreak and pain. Bottom line: love is no simple walk in the park. Often it is hard to trust our instincts and judgment.

How do you know when to fish or cut bait? Just how do you really tell if he is just not into you? Or as I put it: How do you know how to stop wasting time on a DUD (Definitely Unworkable Dude)?

To help you answer these questions, take this simple quiz adapted from my new book, Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love. Give your boyfriend one point for each of these 16 characteristics:

Eager to see you
Reluctant to leave you
Wants regular consistent contact, asks for dates
Interested in you and your life
Wants to be helpful
Is verbally and physically affectionate
Wants to be romantic and sexual with you
Texts, emails or calls regularly
Acts like you are very special; doesn’t really want to date others
If you are dating other men–willing to hang in there
Becoming more attentive and loving over time
Becoming more open to sharing his feelings and thoughts
Becoming more open to sharing his living space
Becoming more open to sharing his social life with friends and family members.
Saying he loves you
Saying he wants a future with you

Please be really honest with yourself as you rate your guy. When in doubt, ask your closest friends to help you. If your man has a score of 4 or less, it probably indicates that he is just not that into you. If he gets 5-10 points the dude may have possibilities. Eleven (11) or more means he just may be the One. Look for more of these qualities over time to make a clearer assessment.

If your guy has a low score, you do not need to cut him off right away. A simple way to protect yourself from the “he’s just not into you” deadly dating pattern is to also date two other guys by going on what I call the Dating Program of Three. On this program, you do not have sex with any of the men (kissing and canoodling is OK!) in order to avoid the out-of-control infatuation that comes with getting too physically and emotionally involved too soon. You let your main guy and the others know on the second date that you are dating others and “taking things slow.” A guy who really is into you will stay the course and win you.
Bottom line: if you want to find the One, look for a man who provides regular and consistent contact that gets better over time. You should find yourself continually surprised at how he fills your needs to be chosen, appreciated, romanced and celebrated for who you are. Envision this kind of love and choose guys who are that into you. The Love in 90 Days book has the tools to help you make it all happen.

And you deserve it!